As Orwell says:

If you look up ‘tea’ in the first cookery book that comes to hand you will probably find that it is unmentioned; or at most you will find a few lines of sketchy instructions which give no ruling on several of the most important points.

– A Nice Cup of Tea

Ingredients

• Fresh water
• Teabag
• Fresh milk

Equiptment

• Kettle
• A favourite cup
• A tea spoon
• A way to measure 3 minutes

Method

1. Pour enough water into the kettle

Too little and you risk burning-out the kettle, too much and you’ll be waiting longer that necessary and wasting energy.

2. Put the teabag into the cup

All teabags are equal but some are more equal than others: I live in Scotland’s Central Belt where the water is soft (and delicious) so I prefer to buy Yorkshire Tea or perhaps Scottish Blend.

3. Pour boiling water onto the teabag

Once the kettle is boiling, pour the still bubbling water directly onto the tea bag.

4. Wait

Allow the tea to steep for 3 minutes or longer if you prefer a stronger cup. Use this time to embrace boredom and think about the bigger questions.

5. Remove the teabag

In a previous life I would squeeze the bag in the cup: don’t do that. Remove the teabag carefully and dispose in a food-composing bin if available.

6. Add the milk

The tea in the cup should now be a nice deep red colour, add milk to your desired colour. Stir clockwise.

Troubleshooting

• The tea is bitter-tasting

This is usually caused by over-steeping: check timing-device and revise steep-time if recessary.

• The tea is sour

The milk is off: dispose of the tea and the milk. Begin again from Step 1.

• The tea is sweet

Review ingredients. Begin again from Step 1 and halt before adding sugar.

• The tea is salty

You’ve added salt rather than sugar. Begin again from Step 1 and halt before adding salt. If this continues, confirm that the water is fresh water and not sea water.

• The tea has an umami-flavour

You’ve added MSG rather than sugar. Begin again from Step 1 and halt before adding MSG.

Addendum

I’ve been making tea for many years, I’ve been told I make “the best cup of tea in the Highlands”, although I think that was an appeal to my ego. Over the years, I’ve given a couple of talks on how to make tea and was once involved in a series of tounge-in-cheek experiments with colleagues to perfect .

The most important part of making tea is to enjoy the tea. If you like Early Grey with lemon, “builders’ tea” with 11 spoons of sugar, or a caffiene-free rooibos-infusion, don’t let me tell you what to do, I’m just some guy on the Internet!